Decision making time

So after a rather stressful few months I began to wonder whether living in the glamorous city of H-town was the right thing for me.
I already knew that I wouldnt ever move back to my home town ( as my adopted mummy told me today- there isnt anything here for me. I agree). My friends have all moved on and live very busy lives.

So I was very happy to go visit my adopted home town of Manchester this weekend for a friends house party. I had an ace time even if the end of the party turned out a bit crazy! But it did make me realise one thing. I didnt want to live there again. Not only has the city changed but so have the people. Not in a bad way. They have just grown up! No longer are we getting wasted and causing fights, fire and floods.

So it made me think. Can I be happy in H-town? As much as I dont have many friends or a family here anymore, can I survive here? I've been building up my own life now full of activities and things to do. A way of ensuring that i'm not home miserable each night. But is it for me? Well im not holding my breath for my life to suddenly be happier and have friends and a family again. I've kind of resigned myself to being on my own now. I'm not going to get the happy ever after I always wanted. That's my own fault. But as much as thats not going to happen I just cant be bothered moving cities again and trying to build my life up again. So I guess i'm stuck here for now.

I think i've just given up wanting to fight anymore. I'm tired of it all. Time for a nap. I'm sure I will feel better after.

SP