One week on

So it's been a week since my last post.
I couldn't feel further from the upset person I was last week.
It's like I woke up on sunday morning and bang the pain was gone. No longer do I hate myself. No longer do I feel as guilty as I did.
A weight has literally been lifted from my shoulders. I feel taller even though I'm only 5'3! My head is held high and there is no shadow in my sky. It's been a great week where even stresses at work haven't got me down, I wont be dragged down with negativity, I feel like i'm nearly back to my mouth brash northern self. It feels GREAT!!

It's made me think more and more about what made me so depressed and negative. Yes there were things that got me down, but rather than tackling the problems I hid away, I'm not going to do that anymore. 

I've started thinking that maybe the antidepressants I was taking made me so much worse. I never felt suicidal before I took them, yet I did when I took them. They certainly altered how I was feeling, my mood was set so much lower than before albeit in a stable condition.

I saw my therapist today at my mums request and because I felt down last week whilst coming off my tablets. He was confused as to why I was there, as he said I had so much energy and positivity!

Today I went to a WI meeting and met a local author who really inspired me to continue writing my blog, on a happier note!

Maybe this is just the start of the rest of my life? The part where I realise how ridiculous to have wanted to end my life. Life is never guaranteed to be happy or easy. But i'm ready for the challenge.

So on Luscious head be it for the idea- I'm going to do a tandem skydive for the charity Mind.
I will post the sponsorship link when all the details are confirmed.
Maybe I have lost my mind again and thats why I am doing it! Who knows!

SP