Honesty

One of my motto's has always been that honesty is the best policy. Even if you dont agree with the premise that screaming the problem/truth in someones face is the best way to be honest with someone, I always think that you should be honest with someone, or at least as much as possible.

I understand that at times its important to not hurt anyones feelings or that a secret should be kept to protect a person, but when a person is directly involved with a situation and witholding information could lead to greater pain or stress later on then surely the kindest thing to do would be to sit down and have an honest chat with them?

At the minute I feel that there are things in my life that seem to be shrouded in mystery.

When did that person decide it was acceptable to take advantage of me fully knowing the repercussions?  Especially when I'm in the place I currently am? Did that person even realise that they had already made a decision about me and my life but then continue with there actions?

Then again maybe I'm just reading too much into every situation? Surely thats when it becomes important to be honest!

At the minute I would say that I feel ok in life but I dont feel very positive about myself. I feel like I must be a really bad person. Am I horrid? I feel like I manage to cause pain to everyone in my life and manage to drive everyone away. I feel worse than pond scum. I feel like nothing I do will make things better. I must be truly awful to drive away the people that care about me most. And that I care about most. Am i nasty person? I sure as hell feel it. I feel like I must have pure evil running through me and as much as I try to do right I cant win. Saucy and my mum keep telling me I'm not awful/nasty etc. Maybe I've just not pushed them away yet. I used to have someone in my life that believed in me and made me feel good about myself and now thats gone I feel empty. I cant get them back. Maybe I'm just getting used to being single. Whatever it is I just want to feel less hate and guilt for myself.

I have set up my just giving webpage for donations, if you would like to sponsor me in doing a 15,000ft tandem skydive please message/comment and I will send you the link

A not so sparkly princess